Who knew growing up was something you had to consciously decide to do? I thought it would be a matter of principle, things would just change. I assumed maturity would come with each hair that fell permanently from the top of my head. At 35 years old have I not explored my body enough to find the “grown up” button? I’m old enough to run for president now. Should I still have the insecurities of a zit-faced teenager, the social awkwardness of some dude’s first day working at Taco Bell in 1992? Probably not, that’s what the fuck beer is for.
While I may certainly question my own social graces and ability to function in a grown up world with grown ups that take themselves way too seriously and think the world needs to be serious fucking business the fact is, the shit that gets me up and going these days is absolutely the same shit that worked when we were still asking homeless dudes to buy us beer at shady corner liquor stores. I like to fucking have fun, I like to listen to awesome music, I like to drink beer with all my closest friends in the world, I like to get drunk and play guitar and yell into microphones with all my best friends with the hopes that someone understands, maybe not the words, but at least the emotions that I’m putting into yelling those words at them. I like to watch other grown men play guitars and yell into microphones. I like to surround myself with people that don’t take life too seriously cause in the end we’re all fucking dust so what’s the fucking difference?
I just hope I never look too creepy at shows as I get older because I can’t see myself not wanting to go make an ass of myself, get drunk and sing along. Actually, scratch that, pretty sure I’ve already been looking creepy as shit as shows for a long time. Fuck it.
Either way, what we do and who we are is way better than anything else in this life I could ever hope to be involved in. I can honestly say in all my years, I have never once regretted my life choices. Kids aren’t for me, families aren’t for me. Tucking in a shitty polo shirts and pretending to give a fuck about people that wear brown-braided belts isn’t for me. If you told the average asshole that most of the things that define you came about as the result of the music you listen to they would look at you like you were a fucking asshole (and you probably are) but that’s the fucking truth. The music I fell into and the friends I’ve made as a result have lead me everywhere, good and bad, I have ever been in my life.
If it wasn’t for stupid simple melodies, fast drums and beer I wouldn’t be spending the rest of my life with the best person I could ever imagine doing that with. I’d be simply settling. Music pretty much led me to her and she led me to everything I’ve accomplished since then. Life can get pretty awesome when you let it and don’t define it by what you have and what you are.
I’ve been a big bag of lame as of late because I decided to go back to school and get a graduate degree. I stay in all week, don’t party and seem to try to prove to my friends again and again that I’m not deserving of my moniker. I’d just like to say that it’s all around the fucking bend. Everything I do in life is so I can act even less grown up later, when it fucking counts. I anticipate to anticipate, I can feel it, I’m fucking closing in.
Let’s fucking do this.
0 Responses to “Its been awhile…”